This is long.

Yesterday, Aisyah, Huda, Thiyah and me went to Mid Valley in KL. It took us quite long to reach there and gosh.. I think Mid Valley is really far. But coming home feels very fast. Haha.

In the morning, I was awaken by Aisyah's call. I didn't notice the message on my phone and on whatsapp. Hmm. I quickly prepare even though I am not so into going because I don't have money LOL.

Anyway. It was nice walking around Mid Valley. It feels new and big. I love that place. There are many things to see. And, you need a handbag full of money to really enjoy shopping here.

I felt annoyed because when I have money, I don't have many things to buy. But when I don't have money, I want to buy everything I see. It feels like shit, not to have as much money as I used to have, when I first got my pay. Now... It is all finished. :(

We came home early. It was weird to be home early. Haha. But it's okay. I can spend a whole day in MPH though.

So a few minutes after I reached home, I received a text.

After settling down, I lay on my bed, thinking. What the hell was I doing just now??? Talking about someone I don't really know and making as if I knew so much, lol. Joking and laughing, having so much fun. WTF?! The worst part was, talking about this person, the whole day! Omgosh. WTF?! You can say that again. What the hell man?? And I was thinking... Why am I even sharing these infos to my friends? HAHAHA. I started laughing. Why am I telling them all these? Is it necessary for them to know...? Lol. I was telling everything! My God. What if what I did was a mistake? Does this put me in danger in the days to come? I am too open... Too good.What was I doing??! But I'm not hiding anything. I have nothing to hide. My words are true. So I should not be scared. Hmm. Haha.

During the night, someone asked me what was I doing. Was I reading a novel? I am not going to lie. I told em straight I was reading an English textbook. Really, it may seem so weird. But I didn't say I was reading a Form 3 English Textbook. I just said an english textbook, which is what I was reading...!!I didn't lie!! I cannot say I'm reading a novel, that is so wrong! How can I say that? Just to impress someone? No. People, people, people. You cannot be like this!!! If you continue to lie, even those little little things, it will become a habit. It will make you more evil. When it gathers, don't you feel guilty or bad for those little lies you made? Little lies that soon become bigger and bigger. And you start cheating people. We must gain people's trust, not lose it!!! Do you know how hard is it to gain people's trust?! Just like how I refuse to trust people> guys> him. LOL. Once you get to know someone is lying, It becomes hard to believe. I always think twice for someone who lied to me before. Trust is so important. It feels great to be with trustable people, where you can share anything and everything and not worry about it. Do you feel safe surrounded by liars? I want the world to know that I can be trusted and I want to find someone that can be trusted too. I want to be with them. I want them as my friend. It's not easy to find people that can be trusted. Yeah? So. It's important to value people around you that can be trusted. Once you lose them, it's like losing something precious. Who can you trust anymore? This world is getting more and more corrupted. Trust is getting harder to find. If people lie, just push them far far away. They don't show trust. They don't know how serious is trust.

Look what happened to me earlier this year. I was played into going out for a movie. All I did was putting trust into someone, and ended up getting played. It means that he cannot be trusted. It was canceled at the very last minute and the whole plan backfired. Now, the effect is still there. I turn down on a good guy's invitation. It sucks. Maybe he's not like others. But I just want to play safe. And if that incident never happened, yes I would have agreed now without thinking twice. So. It thought me something. But also, I feel sorry, if that person has good intentions and I just turn him down. I don't know if I can trust guys anymore. 'I doubt this will ever happen', I said. For these kind of things, I am all negative. Sorry to say. I just hope one will understand. So if you say this, I'll think that. Lol. Maybe not all negative. I translate into a different meaning, and then, be happy about it!

So you put trust in someone and hope they don't lie to you. But what if they lie? We must first. Haha. Get to know someone. Before. Putting thrust in them. And. Time does not tell you too when you can start trusting or just stop. So what you do? 
I don't know. Look for their. Sincerity. Kindness. Ask and tell them about trust. How you hate liars. How important is trust. Observe them. Teach them how to trust. Show.

Lastly. Slowly get back up. Tell yourself that time heals. Let there be scars. Scars are there so that you won't repeat your mistake. WE are all called to forgive others. Yes, we do forgive others. But we don't forget what they have done to us. I won't. I will never forget. WE, will never forget. Can we forget anyway? So. Let them. Break your heart. Play you. Do whatever. You need to show them that you can be stronger. Have faith. And find another, as you move on. Don't be afraid of taking chances, taking risks. Because. Life is all about taking risks. If you don't take the risk, you will never go further. Right? So. Believe. It's alright to say you're ok, you're fine, to be hurt. Your path isn't always smooth. There are rocks along the way. You need some lessons in life. You need to feel. You need to experience. Be positive. All these things, are actually making you stronger. One day. You will look back, and see how much you have learn and grow from a mistake. You became someone different. So. Be happy. Smile always. Because when you smile, it lights up your world, and also others. Don't waste your time on being sad, angry, and annoyed. Ain't nobody got time fo' that! You deserve to be happy!! Live life. Do what you like. Be with people who enjoys your company. LOL everyday. And lastly. Love. Haha. :D


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