Gone forever.

Every year, there will be people asking me the same question when it comes to Chinese New Year.. Do you celebrate CNY? Of course I do. Zzzzzzzzzz. I can never avoid this question. And then there will be a slight pause like 'UH? SHE CELEBRATES CNY? TF?'. I was imagining that on their faces. Anyway, this year's CNY is going to be so odd because my grandmother is gone. It's so weird. She's not there anymore! I don't know why there is a need to go there and celebrate. The last time I went there is for my grandmother's funeral. Gosh. Now going back there just reminds me of her loss. -____- This sadness can totally be avoided by not going there. Just do it here for once!!! If I can make this decision, I wouldn't want to go there, I would stay here and start a new year environment, without my grandmother. It's going to be so lonely and quiet there. OMG I cannot imagine. She's gone. I never knew the last time I said goodbye was my last goodbye. Gosh................ She always hopes to see us return, but who would have thought, to return for her funeral. -_____________________________- Though old, she looks just fine and strong. And it all ended with just one heart attack. Heart attack is scary. All these deadly diseases, there just come without warning... They kill silently.. Some people may look just fine you know. So you can't really say by the looks that she's still strong, and can live longer. You can never tell. There no 'not this time/not now'. It's 'anytime'.