My cousin's house had dinner on new year's day. What we have on the table was ayamas and roasted chicken wings. I tell you seriously, that two was one of my FAVOURITE FOOD in the world. I love ayamas so; bloody much. But if I eat it, then I'll be guilty for the rest of my life. The temptation was really strong. I can't resist it. Everybody was eating the ayamas and the wings. I suffered so much looking at them eating. I knew how much chickens suffered and I can't just forget about it and eat it. Nobody ate the drumstick which was my favourite part. I felt bad. I thought : 'can I just eat it for the last time???' LOL! That was so useless of me. Hey, I never did that.

Anyway, whenever I wanna decide whether to eat or not, I will imagine what the chicken goes through first. How their pain is like. I was really dying to eat that piece of meat but my mind always tells me the plate is just torture and blood. There's no taste or juice... And the image of the little chick I posted here before always appear vividly in my mind. So, If I eat that chicken, I would disappoint myself. That means all the while I'm not being serious. I'm not helping the chicken's lives. The pledge to go vegan is fake.

After saying 'stay strong!!' for many times, finally I managed to not eat that chicken. I was very proud of myself because that was the most delicious dish and I've never ate it. My cousin kept telling : 'eat la... eat la... God gave us food to eat...'. It's not that. I THINK THAT, IF WE EAT CHICKEN, THEN WHY NOT EAT RABBITS? SNAKES? CATS? DOGS? Aren't they a source of food too? So why chicken be the victim for most of us? Snakes are animals too right? Why don't you eat snakes? Eat la! It's food what!.. ZZz.. I've been to the wet market so many times. I've seen chickens caged; held upside down... And the noise they made when they are about to be slaughtered was the worst ever. Horrible.

I guessed you won't feel anything because you haven't seen what's happening. But if you wished to know their pain, then I can bring you there one Saturday. Oh yeah, last Friday, I went to the wet market. I brought some cat's and dog's food. I saw a stray dog. I quickly went towards it. I waved the bag I was holding so that it would come near. And it did. The dog was scared at first, but I tried convincing it. I poured the dog's food out and I must say, it was the best feeling ever for me; and the dog. The dog wagged it's tail at me! Like so happy! My aunt saw it too. I was happy too! To see the dog being so delighted is the best feeling ever in the world. He was so excited. AWW!

I also saw a cat. I fed it with the food I brought. It ate and left some behind. Maybe she wasn't hungry. Later I entered a shop, and I found the same cat inside, it was going somewhere. So I followed behind. Then I saw a box. And IN THAT BOX, I saw kittens!!!!!!! Haha... The mother was feeding her kittens! AWW! 5 of them! So cute!!! The shop owner said the cat gave birth the day before. The kittens are so tiny. Their eyes are not open!! It was so cute to watch! I hope every time I'm out from the house, I'll remember to bring some dog and cat's food. Sometimes I forget, and it makes me mad.

So what's up tomorrow? School... I'll be 17 and I am a senior!!! Yay! I want to be a senior since I was Form 1. I always wonder what it feels like being a senior! 2011.. Senior year baby! Haha! I kept thinking how would people react when they see me.. Would it be like those normal days? omgosh... I am scared no one knows me anymore! And I'll be left behind, with no friends... and in my lonely world. Oh crap! Stop it! Of course people know me :) We just never seen in a few weeks. But I think it's really awkward to be you again.   So the days will get harder. And all of us have to suffer. Tomorrow will be fine...

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